Workplace Advice: When the boss is having an affair with a team member
Q: My boss is having an affair with a junior staff in the firm. She has been given special status and she dominates the office. He offers her special privileges which others don't get, such as being present in interactions with the top management from the headoffice. Taking advantage of the situation, the lady in question is also talking negatively about us behind our backs. Please suggest how one can handle such a tricky situation?
My suggestion: In one of the organizations where I worked, a senior director from Marketing and a colleague from Finance (departments changed) announced their marriage. Everyone was taken by surprise. The normally active grapevine had not noticed anything amiss about their behavior at work.
Office romances get tongues wagging. People notice every glance and conversation. Conclusions are drawn. Speculations and rumours are everywhere. Hollywood has made many movies about office romances. (Here are ten)
Some companies actively encourage the children of employees to seek opportunities in the firm. Some companies have a stated policy that discourages hiring "relatives" of employees. When such a scenario happens one of the employees has to quit. Organizations do this to avoid conflict of interest - especially when one person is in a position of influence.
Read: My colleagues speak in a language I do not follow
Sometimes as part of a high potential employee's development plan, the person is given exposure to meetings with senior leaders in the firm. Such an employee may be nominated to a high-profile leadership development program as a way to prepare for the next role. Most organizations do not make a formal announcement of their high-potential employees list. The exposure to senior leaders, or being mentored and being singled out for opportunities may seem like favouritism unless someone is in the know.
Being friendly with a colleague is not illegal. What someone describes as flirtatious behavior may not appear so, to someone else. Our perceptions are often the result of our own biases and mental norms based on our own moral code.
Read: I fought with my boss. Now what
What two adults choose to do outside the workplace is their choice. The complication comes in because your boss is in a position of influence. If the junior colleague is in the chain of command of your boss, it is certainly a matter of concern. You could lodge a formal complaint to the Prevention of Sexual Harassment committee in your office. Else, a complaint to HR in your head office with a copy to your manager’s manager will bring the matter to everyone’s notice. The investigation will unearth the facts and come to a conclusion if your manager was violating a workplace norm or not.
When it comes to matters of the heart, it is hard to stay rational. So wait for the results of the investigation.
------A version of this was published by Times of India, 12 Sep 2019