Boundaries Matter For Emotional Health
I learnt recently that animals are increasingly “shapeshifting” because of the climate crisis, researchers have said. Warm-blooded animals are changing their physiology to adapt to a hotter climate, the scientists found. This includes getting larger beaks, legs and ears to better regulate their body temperature.
Humans need to adapt too. Here is what they are grappling with - broken boundaries.
“Fake commutes” are a thing. People are creating make believe commutes. That may be a good thing.
Time, space and emotional boundaries
Remote work needs us to define boundaries. Most of us have never needed to draw those lines.
Time boundary: Boundaries of time allocated for work or personal time were defined by the employer. It is now left to us to decide when to work and when it is fine not to. Commuting time was a way for people to get prepared to start or end work. It provides structure to days that otherwise feel like they all blend together.
Space boundary: Space boundaries were also defined by the employer in the pre-pandemic world. Where we worked was allocated. Within the office building, the employee's cubicle was allocated. Home is no longer our personal space meant to be shared with the family. That space is now shared between colleagues, teachers and strangers. The family has had to make space for them.
Emotional boundaries: We experience different emotions towards colleagues than what we feel towards our family members. This distinction must be kept sharp. Employers often use "we are like one big family". The employers want to retain the right hire and fire at will, but hate it when employees exercise that right. Employees are team members - not family members. They get fired for not performing. Family members don't.
Blurring boundaries impact wellness
Working from home has blurred all the boundaries. The suddenness of this shift did not give us time to prepare for the transition. What has been most damaging is the uncertainty behind every decision we are taking every day. When will this end? Is it safe to do this? Is the person next to me putting me and my loved ones at risk? Is this decision fair? Is this fake news or accurate? Should I act on it - when?
How to create boundaries
Create a fixed space where you work. A friend uses things like a stapler, a clock and post-it notes as props that remind him that his dining table is his office now. Another friend uses a coffee shop to get the feeling of work. Some use soundtracks that simulate the hum of the printer, colleagues speaking, the coffee machine ...
Create a transition time. Create a "fake commute" by getting dressed and go for a short 10 minute walk before you come back home to start work. It prepares you mentally to start work.
Dress up the way you used to when you went to an office. Similarly, change back to casual clothes when your workday is over.
Learn a new skill that relaxes you. I took a class in watercolour painting to improve my painting skills. I find it therapeutic. Building a new skill works wonders for your emotional wellness. There is a YouTuber who is happy to teach you any skill you want.
Exercise, sleep well and eat healthy. Getting 7-8 hours of sleep can work wonders. Build an exercise routine. There are enough YouTube videos that will teach you yoga, meditation, how to cook and eat healthy.
Managing time, task and emotional boundaries is necessary for wellness. Don't think of this way of working and living as a temporary shift. Think of it as an entirely new way of living and working that will change itself ever so often.
