Parent Trap

Does having a nervous exam taker reassure the parent? It probably does not. I only need to look at my cousins to see how two individuals could react in very different ways to the same scenario. The differences were so glaring that my aunt would wonder aloud if the two boys were actually her own or had there been a mix up in the hospital where they were born.Buro, the older one was always super organized and always well prepared. Yet he was a lousy test taker. He would complain loudly about flunking. That would make my aunt nervous. When my uncle came home in the evening, he would try and reassure him that it was only an exam and that it was not the end of the world. It did not help. Buro would remain grim and walk off to study. Exams were not to be taken lightly.A month before the exam Buro would stop going out to play. The schedule was displayed prominently on his table. He would be burning the midnight oil. My mashi would tip toe into his room to see if he was sleeping enough. She would be telling him about the importance of being well rested. On the day of the exam Buro would be a nervous wreck. He wouldn’t eat. The atmosphere at home was grim. This scene got replayed every year until he came back from engineering college with a job offer; my aunt heaved a sigh of relief. So did we all.His younger brother Bubai was just the opposite. His study routine that remained constant throughout the year. He continued watching cricket even on the night before the match. My uncle would come back in the evening to find my cousin playing cricket or watching cricket. He had once told Bubai, “Why don’t you study? It is an exam after all. There is no need to watch the rerun of that match.” Mashi would tip toe into his room at midnight only to discover Bubai snug in bed sleeping without a worry.On the first day of the Board examination, Bubai was having a relaxed breakfast while my aunt was trying to get him to hurry up. Fifteen minutes after he had left, she discovered that my cousin had left the admission ticket behind. All hell broke loose. My uncle had to cancel his meeting and drive to the exam hall just in time to hand over his ticket. Bubai took it without a speck of visible emotion. When he came back home my mashi was about to admonish him for being careless, but stopped herself because she knew it would have no impact. Today both of them are doing equally well.My aunt and uncle were stressed when they would see Buro all worked up. They would be equally annoyed when they would find Bubai all cheerful and without a worry on the night before the exams. Both brothers did extremely well academically and continue to be equally successful in their career. I met my aunt and uncle at a family get together last winter. Which one of the experiences would you go through all over again if you had to? Would you rather go through the stress that Buro put you through or what Bubai did?What do you think their answer was?-------------------------From my column in the Times of India blog